I hope mine doesn't look like that
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
