I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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