What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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