are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Just puked most of my soul out..
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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