my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
