why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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