I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
