nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
