I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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