I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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