Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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