I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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