What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Someone came in the potted fern
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
