I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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