so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
