After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
