Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
