did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
