do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
