The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
