dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
