thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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