Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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