he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
