He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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