I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
