i think my mom watched the whole time
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
My vagina just clenched in fear
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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