question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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