I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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