She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
