with your own penis?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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