he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
