Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
