You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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