i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
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