Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Randomize
