i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize