was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
