your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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