What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I supernannyed him into submission
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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