Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
