I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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