you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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