K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
