batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
The beer is more important than you right now.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize