There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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