Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
