Well apparently he's into motor boating.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
