And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
