im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
