FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
