I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
