I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
