just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize