white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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