We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize