Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I think your dad took our porno
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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