so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
