Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
