Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
