This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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