No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Randomize
